Right. I apologize for my “rare” unprofessionalism last time. Can we start over? I promis I’ll keep it together this time because oh boy this faux-lobster roll is too delicious to miss out on. But it’s strange to compose this post because the day I cooked it, my doggy-Armageddon-day had not been realized, and staring back on the make-funny-”when life gives you shrimp, make lobster roll”-line that I drew up then to mock my general cheap-ass style, it now seems to actually speak to me on a philosophical level… My words-in-past is making contact with my present inner-self. Wooh~ (believe it or not this is me keeping it together).
I’m going to push my opinion-quota by saying that the US is the least tea-cultured among the other places I’ve lived in (Taiwan, Vancouver, Hong Kong… Beijing). Americans aren’t particularly keen on tea, evidently as some may now defensively refer to Snapple’s along this line as a clownish counter-argument, and now… they shall stand to be mocked by public (no, it’s too late to take it back).
I have not gone mad I assure you. I think. This is not a slap on my own face regarding what I just said about people not keeping it realz, I assure you again. I think… Yeah, I’m pretty sure. I tell you why.
Sometimes I get a little personal when I take a stroll through the expansive, razzle-dazzling and star-crusted cosmic jungle that is food-blogosphere. I really don’t mean to compare I really don’t. Wise man once said that… “Go… just do your own things” or something… you know but put in a MUCH more profound and scholarly terms. But the thing is (and it’s a big thing) that I can’t help but feeling like Gimli the dwarf when self-put besides the others, whom I’d like to call the blogger-elves of the Woodland Realm (birds chirping pls) because I mean really, just REALLY, do people SERIOUSLY live like that? Prancing with in-season-only, tree-ripen fruits and vegetables galore by the farm-stands and POOF! an effortless display of fairy-salad and angel-tarts on a oh-my-granny-just-left-me-this antique table. Or picking WILD FLOWERS in pastel tea-dresses surrounded by rainbow and songs and THAT’S what she EATS on weekends!? For REALZ? I bet their body parts self-shave, too… Yeah. I’m jealous.
There were many aspects in life turned unexpectedly different after moving to Beijing. I didn’t expect that in any foreseeable lifetime, I’d accessorize a biking trip to the grocery with an industrial-grade gas-mask instead of a summer straw-hat. I didn’t expect neither that instead of battles on sample sale weekends, I’d be fighting other choking victims online in a gas-mask-shortage-frenzy when the days get worse. Yah I know there’s a general wisdom to be applied here somewhere… positive psychology and affirmations do-kid-yourself kinda BS or whatnot… but then comes the unexpected irony.
You people… yes YOU, who can’t stop yapping about how the “grilling season” has begun. Wooh omg~ let’s break out your Cadillac stainless steel monster-grill and park it so handsomely on your beautiful Martha Stewed deck, under that family peach tree looking out into your Ina-garden and get everybody all Bobby Flayed-up on your marbled rib-eye. Whatever, yah-dah yah-dah ya-dah… Yeah, you people. Please. Just. Zip it. SHUSH!